Thursday, June 7, 2007

Brown's Social House (Kits location)


2296 W 4th Ave, Vancouver, BC, Vancouver
Tel: 604-733-2420
http://www.brownsrestaurantbar.com

I am sad. I had some great pics of my dinner at Brown's, and even some video but they were un-uploadable. I'm working on it people.

So, Brown's Social House is a great place to hang out, drink martinis and eat deep-fried mini lobster shells (WTF?). Great atmosphere, superior service and a decent menu. They have chosen to take 4 thinks and do them well. Rice bowls, salads, steaks and burgers. Most restaurants do very well with this concept, but Brown's missed the mark. It is incohesive and confusing. Their steak section overwhelms all else rendering them steakhouseesque. And well lets just say that if you are going specifically do four things well...they had all better be otherworldly.

The Burger: So I had the Hollywood Burger but there was little 'hollywood' about it. I guess that the fact that it had 'American' cheese (read plastic cheese) was supposed to make it 'hollywood' but seriously...that is a really lame effort. AND to top it off all of the other burgers had craptastic cheese on it as well. The waitress politely told us that the chef thought it melted better. THAT IS BULLSHIT. WHAT KIND OF CHEF ARE THEY USING? A 17 YEAR OLD FRY STATION VETERAN OF BURGER KING?Whatever...
So the patty. This was a shocker. When I asked the waitress what cut of meat they used she was like 'the regular stuff'. OK. This is where my anger starts to free flow. They have top quality steaks but they use the regular stuff to make the burger?? I then asked her if they were made in house and omg, get this...she says "No. I've seen the box". When I regained consciousness I decided that I still needed to go through with it. And I did.
The presentation was cute, I have to say. It came in this little fast food wrapper, which I did enjoy. The burger was good for what it was: FAST FOOD. If I wanted a Big Mac I would have gone to McDonald's. DISAPPOINTING. It even had shredded iceberg lettuce and some special sauce...I know they thought they were being kitsch but there is nothing else on the menu to suggest even a vague theme. I just did not get it. I hate it when burgers play mind games... So I concentrated on my beer and my beer, and my beer some more. DONE.

My rating: I wish I could drink at MacDonald's...It would have been cheaper.

3 comments:

Dman said...

Ok, I was up late and googling "Vancouver burgers"... don't ask. Anyway, I came across your Craigslist ad and then hit the blog. Daaaaamn! I've been looking for a great burger in Vancouver for a while. Most of them are ok, but that's about it. Except for Vera's. They are very good. I'll have to try Black Frog on your recommendation.

BTW, head out to Deep Cove and try the Raven pub. Good food. Burgers aren't bad.

So, you're the perfect woman. How the hell is it that you're single?

muddafugga said...

Haha, nice... a SERIOUS burger connoisseur. Over the years, I've picked up a number of tricks and techniques for making great burgers. Pop me an email and I'll share some of those secrets, if you're interested. LEE8798 at Shaw dot CA.

There aren't a whole lot of truly great burgers here in Vancouver. But then again, I'm incredibly picky about what makes a great burger. I've been on the same quest as you for more than twenty years now, and have tried most of the burger joints in town. I more or less prefer my OWN burgers these days, because I get it right.

BTW, there IS a way to get medium rare out of a frozen patty and still keep the thing tasting 100% fresh... ancient Chinese secret. Makes things very efficient when you need to make burgers for a large number of people and need to pre-prepare some of the food.

The absolute best burger I've ever had, the closest I've come to the perfect burger, was at the Sands Hotel and Casino in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Caribbean beef. Nice thick patty, medium rare, grilled on a proper grill with their special sauce. Toasted sesame seed bun (you can get other buns too). PERFECT juice, like one good drip per bite, half grease and half browny bits. Top it all off with a master melt of real aged cheddar and real swiss cheese dripping round the edges of the patty, fried onions, and mushrooms pan fried in wine and garlic butter.

The nicest touch is that the Sands burger also comes with all its veggies on the side, so you can add what you like to your own taste... extra raw onions, two kinds of lettuce, tomatoes, zuchinni, cucumbers, and you can even ask for beans or sprouts or anything else they have as well.

And it comes with some AMAZING french fries. All around, it's still the best burger I've ever bought... as close to a pound of Heaven as you can get.

Yes, I said a pound. The thing is HUGE... the patty is about three times the size of a McD's quarter pounder. And the BEST part about all of it is that if you set up a marker with the casino ahead of time, and play enough to get rated (basically 2 hrs a day or 12 hrs a week) you can get the burgers FREE!!!

So if you ever go to San Juan, DO NOT miss the Sands burger, trust me on this one. Sadly, I can't go back there at the moment because it's a US protectorate and since this Nazi took office in the White House, I've been told not to try and enter the USA or any of it's colonies because of my anti-Nazi political activism. So it's going to be a while before I'm able to get my hands on another Sands burger.

Go and try one some time. You'll be VERY glad you did...

Peace

WWW.FOCCED.COM

Muslim or Christian, Mullah or Pope
Preacher or poet who was it wrote
Give any one species too much rope
And they'll fuck it up...
- Roger Waters from the album Amused to Death

a said...

Since Feenie has now joined Cactus Club - I heard he revamped their burger. "THE BURGER" is killer - a must try!
Cheers
~A