GUEST PARTICIPANT AND CHAMPION YOYOER, FRED YOUNG.
Me shooting guns (nothing to do with burgers) Jill drinking, Fred burning
The Charlatan
1447 Commercial Dr, Vancouver
Tel: (604) 253-2777
Hey there. I am back and ready to eat a lot of beef. As mentioned in my last post, I have been dealing with a bum leg for some time now but am feeling up to getting burgers in me and the rippin' zem to peices. I am going to make a confession: there is a bitter sweet aspect to reviewing a good burger. It's funnier when I can crap on stuff. Well, guess what? This is not one of these times.
Soooo....For some reason me and this guy I got, Frederick Roger Allan Edward Duncan Young - or something along those lines - keep ending up at the Charlatan on Sunday mornings...or afternoons, I guess. I think it has something to do with the double Caesars on special...whatever. Anyway, I've always made it there before 3pm so normally I would order breakfast. Today we got there at like 3:05pm so it was burger time.
The Charlatan is fairly new to the Drive and that means it's got bring it strong to survive. It's a pretty sweet little pub with a killer patio...nice willow tree hanging over head and a social set up...great people watching...oh and double Caesars on Sunday! I like to have 9. I kid...7.
I do like this place and really wanted to heart that burger like I heart angry sex...I mean puppies. Well, it didn't turn out as planned.
So, ze burger: Hey, what's one of the most important burger tenants? RATIO RATIO RATIO. God-fuking-damnit...why do people not get this? Ok, yes the patties were made in-house, and yes there was both a pickle and a sog barrier. Cheese and mushrooms were a buck extra...que? Cheap fucks. Oh well. But - and you know this - the MUST be a decent pattie to bun ratio. This was ridonculous. The pattie was the size of an Amazonian fruit bat (they're small) and the bun was as big as Britney Spears' dog Bit Bit (it's still small but much larger than the Amazonian fruit bat). NOOOO. This made me so upset that I smashed a beer bottle over my head that I stole from the neighboring table...tore the vinyl off my stool with my teeth and made Fred cry. Actually, I just imagined myself doing all of that and then bottled up all of my bad feelings for a rainy day when I can go postal. The burger was not actally half bad after I scapped a 33rd-take-porn-scene amount of mayo off (did you barf a bit?). There was a nice anis flavoring going on but a bit of over-kill on ze cayen pepper. It was kinda dry but the cheese and shrooms compensated nicely. I love mediocre Sunday lunches...oh and they have double Caesars on special!!! I had 9.
My rating: Fruit bats taste pretty good when you smush them between an alchoholic Chiuaua with signs og animal abuse.
